Heartbreak

There is research that says women will kiss on average 15 guys, have 4 one night stands (well this is awkward), seven sexual partners (again awkward) live with one ex, be in love twice and have two long term relationships (one down) somewhere in all that, you'll have two heartbreaks.

I think heartbreaks are one of the most amazing and best self discovery/growth periods someone can go through. The emotions and ups and downs you will experience will change you completely. The person who went into that relationship is not the one that will come out, and again will not be the same person who appears once the months of mopping, binge eating ice cream and watching Titanic cease.

The moment you get your heartbroken is one of the most indescribable feelings ever. I still remember exactly how I felt. I actually felt physically sick. My stomach was turning I couldn't breath everything was tightening. I broke out in a full panic attack. I didn't know how to live my life without this person there, nor did I want to learn how to. Now I am the last person who should be the spokesperson for how to deal with getting your heart broken. I'm not going to lie, I am the worst ex girlfriend ever, and honestly I don't blame the guy for blocking me on everything. But I can tell you a few things that I wish I had of done differently as well as some major things I learnt.

1. I see now that before we actually broke up that he was struggling and our lifes were going different directions. I was living in Melbourne he well didn't want to. I just always persuaded him to stay when we were having issues by saying we will sort it all out when we get there. That is not how you handle anything.

2. Don't go making drastic life decisions when you're getting dumped because you think it will help. I told my ex I would move back home if it meant we could sort things out and be together. It's 18 months later and we are never getting back together, like ever. (I knew Taylor Swift wrote break up songs for a reason)

3. It is okay to be sad. I hate when people tell you in break ups to get over it or it isn't the end of the world. You're not stupid, you rationally know that. But knowing that doesn't make it any less painful to you. It is your world and while it isn't ending it is going through a massive change.

4. Don't think drinking massive amounts of alcohol helps. All it does is push the pain aside for a few hours and you just wake up with a massive headache.. It's also a waste of money

5. Every person is different. My two closest friends Abbey and obviously Jess both went through heartbreaks around the same time. Abbey was fine. She had a week or two of being down in the dumps but she bounced back like a pro. She is now happily in another relationship. Jess and I well we just got drunk... ALOT! Seriously though you could ask Jess herself and she would admit she is still struggling with it almost a year on. It all just takes time.

The biggest thing I have learnt about heart break is that once you got through it, you never will be the same again. You come out so much stronger then before. You have learnt things about yourself and what you want that you never saw coming. I learnt that what I thought I wanted in a relationship actually is far from what I really do want. I've learnt that I am also incredibly happy and comfortable on my own now. I know I have things to work on to get to where I need and want to be. I am happy to do that alone. At the end of the day it is my life we are dealing with.

So how did I know I was out of the heartbreak tunnel? Some people think that you're over your heart break when you can finally move on with someone else. I think this is a load of crap. I am over my heartbreak and the last thing I want is to go looking for a relationship. I'm just happy doing me. I think you are over it, when you can look back on memories or see something that reminds you of them and you can smile. When you can finally look yourself in the mirror and say I am okay. Most importantly. I think you have moved on, when you are grateful for what they have taught you and the person they helped you become. Just because you're grateful and moved on, don't think you have to be friends. I honestly can say right now that I never want to be friends with my ex again. He taught me about a person that I never thought I could be, and a person I never want to be again. I'm not going to finish this off by saying some cheesy 'It isn't the end of the world line" I am simply going to say this. You will be okay. Trust me and yourself that this has happened for a reason. One door closes and when you are ready another will open. (Okay maybe that was a little cheesy)

Love always - Recently Unheartbroken xx

#heartbreak #love #breakups #stronger #movingon